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Writer's pictureEric Tangumonkem, Ph.D.

Three things that will make you #secure

Last week we talked about the five qualities of secure people. We said you know you are secure when:

1) You know when to ask for help from others

2) You are open to other ideas

3) You admit it when you are wrong

4) You correct others when they are wrong

5) You empower others

How are you doing as far as these five qualities are concerned? How secure are you? Are you afraid to ask others for help? Are you afraid to admit you are wrong? Are you afraid to correct others when they are wrong? Are you afraid that if you empower others they will become better than you? In short is fear holding you back? Is fear making you insecure? Do you feel learning from others will reduce your self-worth? Do you feel it is humiliating to admit you are wrong? Is pride holding you back from admitting you need help?

Fear is one of the root causes of insecurity and for you to become a secure person you MUST learn to overcome fear and pride.

  • The strong know when to ask for help and are courageous enough to do it. Nobody wants to be perceived to be weak that is why many do not ask for help when they are in need. The need may be, spiritual, material, mental, financial or even professional. You cannot make it alone and it is strong that ask for help. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you need help and even more courage to actually ask for help.Finally it requires great courage to actually implement the help that is offered to you. It is OK to ask for help when you need it. Do not feel that people will laugh at you or misunderstand you. Many people are asking for help, you too can. Start now.


  • The humble ask for help when they need it. According to King Solomon, there is more hope for those who are humble. He asked the following question, “Do you see a person wise in their own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for them.” Admitting you are wrong is not a sign of weakness, the brave and the strong take responsibility for their actions. They do not let themselves out of the hook when the going gets tough. They are humble enough to admit they are wrong; in a situation that needs eternal intervention they reach out for help from others. Pride will prevent you from asking for help, keep you in bondage, and eventually destroy you. You can become more secure by rejecting pride and adopting humility. Reach out to others and ask for help when you need it. Learn from others and continue educating yourself.


  • The brave empower others. Nobody can take your place. There is only one you and there will always be just one you. An imitation of you cannot be the same as you, so do not be afraid to empower others. Do not be the only eye for you will walk in darkness when that eye goes out. Your pace cannot be taken. The only way to continue being secure is by empowering others to be all God created them to be. When each person is doing what they were born to do there will be no need for jealousy and infighting. Start today by being intentional in adding value to others. The needs around us are great and all we need are a few brave people who want to make a difference. Start in your neighborhood and continue at work by reaching out and empowering some of the younger employees. All you may need is about 15 minutes a month to coach and encourage one or two colleagues that are younger than you. Be brave! Start empowering others today.

How secure are you? What else can you add on this list?  Share with others. Thanks ww.erictangumonkem.com


The IEM APPROACH is a holistic way of life; the physical and spiritual must be in synergy for real, lasting, and sustainable success.

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