A few years ago I found myself in a graduate lab at the University of Texas at Dallas with no knowledge of how to use a computer. The teaching assistant who was teaching the class asked us to open a folder, import an excel spreadsheet, manipulate the data write a report in a word document, and turn it in. I got lost since I did not know what a folder was. To say I was worried will be mild. It was devastating, to say the least. A gazillion questions ran through my mind and the fear of failure overwhelmed me. How in the world was I going to overcome this monster? I got worried, that I have come this far and may not make it.
Before you dismiss my lack of computer skills to be a trivial matter, do not forget that whatever is keeping you awake in the night is trivial to others.
The number one cause of worry is FEAR.
It can be the fear of failure and the future
The fear of the known and known unknown,
The fear of ridicule, rebuke, and revenge;
The fear of shame, and being shunned
Add the list of your own fears here……
Worry is the internal manifestation of fear, and it dwells on the negative outcomes projected from fear. It gives you something to do; makes you feel that you are actually making progress in resolving the issue you are facing. The energy you would have channeled to look for a solution is wasted wishing you were somewhere else, somebody else and that things were different. You throw a pity party, invite yourself and dig the whole deeper and deeper.
Troubleshooting is different from worry in that, you’re are energized, motivated, and hopeful when you are troubleshooting, but worrying saps all the energy from you makes you depressed, anxious, sad, and hopeless. You just want to burry your head in your hands and cry. You feel an overwhelming sense of lack of control and helplessness. When you find yourself in these circumstances remember the following ,
Worrying is a dead end. All worrying, no matter how well intended, no matter how it makes you feel is USELESS. It gives you a sense of doing something to help out, but it is digging the hole deeper and deeper. As Jesus Christ of Nazareth said, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? In short worrying in a waste of time and energy, therefore do not waste your energy. Stop worrying!
Count your blessings. You worry about eating well, security, a comfortable place to live in, even a good paying job. Look around at other people and you will realize that you have a lot of going on for you already. The mere fact that you are alive and reading this posting is an indication that there is a lot to be thankful for. Remind yourself that things could be worse.
Get rid of the fear. Identify what you are afraid of and deal with it. In my case, I had to push myself to learn about computers and as time went on I got better and better. You have to keep learning new ways of doing things, interacting with other people, etc.
Let me end by saying that there are many things that are completely out of your control, so let then go, do not worry about them. Instead focus your energy in dealing with those things that you can control, like your response and attitude towards the circumstances surrounding your right now. Choose to be hopeful, optimistic and know that the ultimate outcome depends how you respond.
The IEM APPROACH is a holistic way of life; the physical and spiritual must be in synergy for real, lasting, and sustainable success.
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